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Michael Sam Signs With Montreal Alouettes The Montreal Alouettes signed Michael Sam because they believe he can be a star rush end in the Canadian Football League. His sexuality is a non issue, as far as general manager Jim Popp is concerned. “Michael Sam is a very good football player, and that’s the reason we signed him,” Popp said of Sam, who is openly gay. “He’s an outstanding pass rusher.” Sam, a free agent, agreed to a two year deal. The 25 year old is to be introduced at a news conference in Montreal on Tuesday and report to training camp the following day. “I am very excited and proud to join the Montreal Alouettes and want to thank team owner Robert Wetenhall, general manager Jim Popp and head coach Tom Higgins for this opportunity,” Sam said Friday in a statement. “I cannot wait to put on the pads, get back on the field and work hard each and every day with my teammates to bring a Grey Cup to the great fans here in Montreal.” The Galveston, Texas, native became a sensation when he came out before last year’s NFL draft, and his NFL jerseys
defanged, helpless unit that gives up 30 points for every useful play it makes. It’s an ideal television defense in that it does nothing MOST of the time, but will occasionally get a token interception just to let you know that NFL defenses haven’t been eradicated completely. In this town, a quarterback has a better chance of being brought down by violent diarrhea than by a Saints defender. Without Gregggggg Williams around to hand out under the table bonuses, and without Mickey Loomis’ elaborate series of locker room fap cameras, the Brees Saints are like the Marino Dolphins: a team designed specifically to rack up gaudy passing stats and do absolutely nothing else useful. And, as always, the miserable bags of shit that constitute this fanbase deserve such torment. You people can’t even speak English, or any fucking language for that matter. People from New Orleans just make a bunch of noises and pray that it comes out understandable. WOOOOOOOOOO HYEHHHHHHH OODAYYYYYYYYY. FUN FACT: No New Orleans resident has taken a shower since 1985. You people are worse than rednecks because you think
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